actually, I'm a sock model
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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