i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
