This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Drunk is a universal language darling
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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