so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
