Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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