he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize