I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I lost the right to judge tonight
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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