i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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