Me too!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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