I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
