is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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