That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
