Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
