highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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