...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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