I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
