STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
