the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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