Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
