she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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