i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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