3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
