the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Mom said you looked used
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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