that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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