Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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