talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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