I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
