guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
