I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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