At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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