Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
