my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
