if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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