That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize