white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
