Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
