If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
