I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
