he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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