Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
