His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just google imaged poop.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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