): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
is it fun? or sober?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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