It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
