why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize