can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize