i think i have herpe
just one?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
