Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
