Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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