the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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