Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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