My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
