dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
