i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
