is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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