Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
