We won't sleep together?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
