He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
