What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
