Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
