Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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