I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I checked into jail on foursquare
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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