A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
