He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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