Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
