puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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