at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
