Only a mothe r could love this liver
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Vodka?
Forever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
