Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
