they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
