Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
