butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
